


tell me when it's alright

by GhostGrantaire



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, hints of pre-stoncy, really it's just steve and will bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 19:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11492979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostGrantaire/pseuds/GhostGrantaire
Summary: “Can I… can I tell you something?” Will asked quietly.  His heart was pounding, and he looked away before Steve could catch his gaze.  Somehow some of his adrenaline from earlier that afternoon must have carried over, because he found himself feeling braver than normal.  He heard Steve give a small sound of consent and he plunged ahead.  “But you have to promise not to tell Jonathan.”





	tell me when it's alright

**Author's Note:**

> _"All that I want is a hole in the ground_  
>  You can tell me when it's alright for me to come out"  
> ~Hard Times by Paramore

Will sped as fast as he could down the road, peddling like his life depended on it. As far as he was concerned, it did.

His backpack hit his back repeatedly every time he pedaled, the notebooks and pencils jostling uncomfortably. He hadn’t zipped it up all the way, and he could feel the weight shift as it opened slowly, and he prayed to whoever was listening that it wouldn’t spill. He really couldn’t afford to lose all his homework.

Something that felt like a rock his the back of his thigh hard, making him yelp, and suddenly his homework was the last thing on his mind.

His bike tired slid on a rough patch of gravel, and one of his shoes (an old pair of Jonathan’s that had never quite fit him) slipped off his heel and caught in the chain, causing the bike to brake hard. He flipped sideways, falling to the ground hard. He reached out to catch himself, but his backpack flipped over his head. The zipper flew open, and his notebooks scattered everywhere.

“ _Shit_ ,” he yelped. He tried not to curse often, but that was the last thing on his mind. He pushed his bike to the side, and ignored the pain in his leg as he scrambled around to gather his stuff.

“Hey fairy, where are you going?” He looked up in terror as Troy and James appeared around the corner, skidding to a stop on their own bikes. His homework could wait.

“Leave me alone.” He tried to sound brave as he got to his feet, but he was so out of breath that it lost any intimidation factor.

James laughed as Troy threw his bike down and stalked towards him. He had a rock in his hand that Will eyed cautiously.

“Not so tough without your friends, huh?” James taunted.

Troy tossed the rock up and caught it again, never breaking eye contact with Will. Will continued to back up, almost tripping on a fallen branch. After a second’s hesitation, he leant down and snatched up the stick, holding it like a sword in front of him. Troy just laughed.

“If you knew what was good for you, you would’ve just stayed dead, queer,” he sneered, the hate and fear obvious in his voice.

Will trembled. _Fight or flight_ is what he’d always heard, and he’d already failed at the latter. He’d never been strong– even Mike had beaten him in their old play wrestling, and Mike was known for being weak. But he was out of options.

Troy and James were closer now. Will had seen them in gym class, he’d seen how they could throw baseballs. There was no way they'd miss at this distance.

“Is there a problem here?” Will spun around only to see Steve Harrington a few yards away. He walking down the road towards them slowly with his hands tucked in his jacket pockets and his eyebrows furrowed.

“No,” Troy said immediately. Will glanced back to see that he’d dropped the rock on the ground. “We’re just having fun.”

Steve continued towards them, surveying the scene, but after a second his eyes drifted to meet Will’s. “You having fun, little Byers?”

Will’s pulse slowed down, and he took a deep breath. He knew it’d get him in trouble later, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t backing down. He attempted to stand up straighter, looking Steve straight in the eyes. “No.”

“That’s what I thought,” Steve mused, looking at the bullies. “You guys think you’re tough? Two against one?”

“The freak was asking for it,” Troy shot back, though he didn’t sound as tough as he did before. Steve crossed closer, and Will turned back to watch.

“Yeah? Well if you’re so desperate for a fight, we’re even now. Two against two, what do you say?” Steve’s voice was nothing but calm, but he was holding himself in a way that Will had never seen before. His shoulders were tense, pulled back in a way that screamed confidence. For a scary second, Will wondered if this was what Steve looked like when he used to bully Jonathan.

He didn’t like it.

“Yeah right,” Troy mocked, chuckling slightly, but there was a tremor in his voice. Will watched as he glanced unsurely at James, who was standing in a defensive posture.

Steve didn’t say anything, just pulled his hands out of his pockets and began pushing up his sleeves. Troy got the message.

“You’re just as weird as he is!” Troy shot back, but he was already backing up towards James and the bikes. He shot one more death glare towards Will, who just stood up straighter. “See you later, queer.”

Steve didn’t say anything, just shoved his hands in his pockets as he watched the younger kids run away. Once they were out of sight, all the fight left Will at once, and he slumped down in relief.

“You okay, kiddo?” Steve asked. He was back to his normal voice and posture, something that was much more familiar to Will. He was frowning in concern at Will, who just nodded and began to pick up his stuff.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, feeling it was necessary.

Steve grabbed his backpack from the ground and helped Will collect everything that had fallen, tucking it back inside. He held it out to Will when it was packed up, and Will took it. He met Steve’s eyes unsurely, relaxing a bit when he saw that familiar friendly glint.

“They do that often?” Steve asked. He’d fished a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and tucked one in between his lips, still looking worried. Will sat down on the gravel, picking at the rip in his jeans that had been caused from his fall. His knee was skinned badly, and it burned as the edges of the fabric brushed against it.

He shrugged. “I guess so. They stopped for a while last year. I think they were scared she’d come back.”

Steve didn’t ask who Will meant, but he clearly understood anyway. The older boy sat beside him, kicking his feet out in front of him. Will could feel his gaze on him, and he continued talking. “It’s not usually that bad. It’s better when I’m with my friends.”

Steve nodded, seeming more satisfied with that answer. “Where are they now?”

“Dustin’s at the dentist. Mike and Lucas had to finish a science project. I was waiting for them up at school, but Troy and James…” he faded off, feeling the rest of the story was self-explanatory.

“I can handle it, though, you know. I mean, I’m used to it,” Will explained, hoping it came across as strong and not pathetic. Steve raised an eyebrow, taking another drag of his cigarette. “It’s not like they matter.”

Steve smiled at that, looking impressed by the answer. He didn’t say anything, and Will wondered why they were still here. “They call you queer a lot?”

Will looked up at the question, feeling his pulse quicken. He looked down again, trying to keep his voice calm. “Yeah, everyone does. So what?”

There was a challenge in his voice that he didn’t intend to have, but Steve didn’t seem bothered. “Does it bother you?” His voice was neutral.

Will took a breath, calming himself down. This was Steve. He wouldn’t care. No way. “Not really. Sometimes…” _sometimes I don’t think it bothers me as much as it should._ He kept quiet.

If Steve thought the end of his sentence sounded odd, he didn’t let on. “People can be assholes sometimes. Or jerks, I mean,” he corrected quickly, looking at Will guiltily.

“Yeah,” Will agreed, giving a small laugh, keeping his eyes down. He buried his hand in the dirt beside him, turning it over as he thought to himself.

There was a long moment of silence and Will glanced at Steve from the corner of his eyes. Steve didn’t seem to notice, keeping his gazes forward and relaxed. He didn’t know Steve that well. Not as well as he knew Nancy at least, seeing as he spent so much time over at the Wheeler’s. Steve was nice to Will though, even though it was obvious he didn’t really know how to talk to kids Will’s age. He was better with Mike’s baby sister, from what Will could tell. But he tried, and he listened when Will spoke, so that was something.

“Can I… can I tell you something?” Will asked quietly. His heart was pounding, and he looked away before Steve could catch his gaze. Somehow some of his adrenaline from earlier that afternoon must have carried over, because he found himself feeling braver than normal. He heard Steve give a small sound of consent and he plunged ahead. “But you have to promise not to tell Jonathan.”

Steve paused at that, looking a bit scared. “I don’t know if–”

“Please?” Will cut in, looking at him with wide eyes. Steve bit his lip, looking like he was trying to read Will’s thoughts, but eventually he sighed and nodded. Will took a deep breath.

“I think I might be queer.”

There was a silence, filled with only the sound of his pounding heart echoing in his head, and Will didn’t move a muscle.

“Oh?” Steve’s voice was quiet and cautious, like he wasn’t sure what to say. Will didn’t dare look at him. “I– okay. That’s okay.”

Will dared a glance at the older boy. Steve looked unsure, but his eyes were kind, and Will felt just a bit braver. “Some people don’t think so.”

“Fuck those people,” Steve said immediately, and Will reared back slightly at the harsh language. Steve blinked, realizing his mistake. “I mean, um, don’t worry about them.”

Will chuckled slightly at the way Steve tripped over himself to censor his words. After a second though, the smile faded as he thought about the conversation at hand. “My dad wouldn’t like it. He used to… he’d call me a fag.” He whispered the last word, feeling overwhelming shame.

Steve was watching him carefully, looking hesitant. “Well, my dad used to call me the same thing. Still does sometimes. But so what? That’s their problem.”

Will shrugged, picking at his jeans, feeling only slightly better at the assurances. “I guess so.”

“So, Jonathan doesn’t know?” Steve asked after a second.

Will looked up at him anxiously. “No, and you really can’t tell him!”

“I won’t, I promise,” Steve responded easily, looking honest enough. “But why don’t you want him to know?”

Will shrugged, pulling his knees to his chest nervously. “I just… I can’t do it. Not yet. I don’t know why.”

Will did know why. There was something infinitely more terrifying about opening up to the people who’d dedicated so much of their lives to him, versus opening up to someone who was practically a stranger. He knew logically that his mom and Jonathan would support him no matter what… but he was unable to stop the paralyzing fear of disappointing them after everything they’d done for him.

Will felt a large rush of shame when he realized that his eyes were filling with tears. He ducked his head quickly, attempting to hide it from the teenager. Steve would never cry like this. He was stronger than that, tougher than that, and he’d probably think Will was some nerdy wimp for breaking down like this.

He could hear his father’s taunts in the back of his mind, calling him a sissy and a girl. Will squeezed his eyes shut, as if that could block them out. A muffled sob escaped his throat, and he wiped angrily at his eyes.

“Hey.” Will felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at Steve, blinking the tears away. He was terrified, but he hoped it didn’t show. He could be brave. He could do this. Steve was smiling at him, and Will felt relief wash over him. “Kid, it gets better. It gets easier.”

Will gave a shaky smile and wiped his nose on his sleeve. “Did it get easier for you?”

Steve frowned at him, looking confused. “Life?”

Will chuckled at his ignorance, feeling calmer now. “No, you know… this. Liking boys, or whatever.”

The change was immediate. Steve dropped his cigarette on his lap, and Will jumped. Steve brushed the cigarette and ash off of himself hurriedly before looking back at Will in horror, who was past confused at this point.

“I’m not queer!” Steve exclaimed, and a cold veil of terror came over Will again.

“You’re not?” Will asked back, his voice shaking. _Oh shit._

“No, I– I’m dating _Nancy_ , how the hell could I be queer?” Steve’s voice was rising in pitch, a sign of his growing anxiety. Will could relate.

Will tried desperately to sort his thoughts and find an appropriate answer, anything to make this situation right. To be honest, he’d never really thought that hard about it. He didn’t know how Nancy fit into the equation. He’d just always had a feeling that Steve was like him– a feeling that was now fading fast.

“Why would you think that?” Steve asked loudly, cutting off Will’s incoherent mumblings.

It took all of Will’s courage to keep from running away again.

“I don’t know,” he stumbled over his words. “I mean, you’re always… you’re always looking at Jonathan that way and–”

“Oh god!” Steve moaned into his hands, rubbing at his eyes with his fingers like he was almost trying to scrub himself clean. His whole body was tense and frozen, and Will could barely breathe.

“S-Steve?” Will whispered unsurely. The teen just folded in on himself more, and Will bit his lip to keep himself from speaking again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Steve muttered the mantra under his breath.

Will bit his lip, flinching slightly at the words. He’d really messed this up. He didn’t know what to do– should he just quit while he was ahead and leave? What if Steve really was angry and didn’t care about keeping Will’s secret anymore? No, he wouldn’t do that, right?

As Will’s anxiety raced to come up with a solution, the older teen still hadn’t looked up, seemingly stuck in his own mind.

“I–I’m sorry,” Will spoke up. His face was burning red in shame and embarrassment, and he started to get to his feet. He felt more tears drip down his cheeks, and he blinked, not having realized he was even crying again.

“Okay, look–” Steve suddenly blurted out, and Will looked at him in surprise. He looked completely distressed, a conflicted look on his face. “Look, maybe, maybe I’m… a bit queer.”

Steve frowned, his frustration disappearing only to be replaced with a look of… loss? Fear? Whatever it was, it made Will uncomfortable to look at. He was used to Steve being a renewable source of pure confidence and cockiness, and this was just too weird.

“What does that mean?” He asked before he could stop himself, curiosity overtaking anything else. He sat down again, feeling his distress fade slightly as Steve slowly relaxed.

Steve didn’t look at him and instead stared at the open quarry like he was trying to solve a difficult math equation and didn’t even know where to begin. “I still like girls. I love Nancy. But… maybe I could consider the idea of, you know. Being with a guy.”

He faded off on the last part, but Will heard it clear as day. “Jonathan?” he guessed, too curious for his own good.

Steve looked at him out of the corners of his eyes, lips pressed tightly together. “Yeah,” he said out in a breath. The older boy turned towards him, and Will looked at him earnestly. “Look, kid, you can’t tell him. I’m serious. This is about more than being queer or whatever, okay? It’s really complicated. It took us a long time to get where we are now, you know, and this… this would ruin things. So you can’t tell him. You gotta promise me that.”

There was a weight behind the words that Will didn’t dare argue with, even though he wanted to point out that Jonathan looked at Steve just as much as Steve looked at Jonathan, and even if his brother didn’t feel the same way, Will doubted he’d let it ruin anything. He knew how much his friends meant to Jonathan.

He nodded anyway and saw Steve’s shoulder relax just a fraction.

They sat quietly, both slowly letting the distress from the admissions fade away. Will picking at the threads from the new rip in his jeans. He’d have to get his mom to patch it for him, but he wasn’t sure when she’d have time. They’d probably be like this for a while. He hoped it looked cool and not just pathetic.

After a moment, Steve (who Will knew wasn’t ever as comfortable with silence as the Byers) spoke up. “So,” he drawled, glancing at Will. He still looked uncomfortable, but there was a slight smile on his lips. “Any secret boyfriends? Crushes?”

“ _No_ ,” Will shot back immediately, though he couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter that escaped him. Steve grinned at him, and Will kicked him on the shin, making the teen flinch a bit. Will felt minutely proud of that.

“Okay, just making sure,” Steve defended with a chuckle. “If you’re not gonna tell your actual brother than someone’s gotta do his job.”

He grinned at Will, reaching over to ruffle his hair playfully like Jonathan liked to do. Will rolled his eyes, knowing Steve was treating him like a little kid, but also smiled, unable to help but feel grateful for the support.

“WILL!” Will jumped at the sudden shout, scared for a second before it registered that the voice had been Lucas’. “Will, where are you?!”

“I’M RIGHT HERE!” Will shouted back as loudly as he could.

Steve laughed and pushed himself to his feet. “That’s my cue to leave. You gonna be okay?”

Will nodded, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of his chest.

“Alright, kid. See ya.” Steve turned to walk away, but after a second he turned back around, looking serious again. “You know, there’s no rush or anything, but you shouldn’t be afraid to tell your brother what you told me. It won’t ruin anything, I promise.”

“Same goes for you,” Will said back honestly. He may not understand Steve Harrington, but he made Jonathan happy, so he deserved to be happy too.

Steve chuckled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “We’ll see,” was all he said.

Mike and Lucas sped around the corner on their bikes, braking hard when they saw Will. They both shot suspicious glances at Steve, who simply waved to them. Mike gave a small wave back, though he didn’t seem very friendly.

Once Steve reached his car and climbed inside, the boys turned on Will.

“Why were you talking to my sister’s lame boyfriend?” Mike asked. Mike had never really warmed up to Steve, although Will got the feeling it was more due to the fact he was dating Nancy than his actual personality.

Will got his feet, shrugging. “He’s not that bad.”

“What were you even talking about?” Lucas asked, getting off of his bike to walk with Will.

“Nothing,” Will said vaguely. He would tell them his secret eventually, but one person was more than enough for today.

Mike and Lucas traded a suspicious glance, but didn’t push. “You okay?” Mike asked, frowning at the rip in his jeans.

“Yeah, it’s nothing. I just fell off my bike.” Will brushed their concerns off and picked his bike off the ground. “Did the project go okay?”

“Yeah, it was fine,” Lucas said, climbing back onto his bike, clearly done with the conversation. “Can we go home now? I’m starving.”

“We could’ve been home by now if you hadn’t gotten distracted by a certain redhead,” Mike started, glancing at Will with raised eyebrows. Will laughed as he swung a leg over his bike, already knowing where this was going.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas asked indignantly.

“Come on, Lucas, we all know you like Max. Even Max probably knows you like Max,” Mike said, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t like Max!” Lucas replied hotly. He was lucky in the way that he never blushed, but Will could tell he was embarrassed by the way he avoided eye contact. “She asked me a question, was I just not supposed to answer her?”

“She asked you what time it was, not about the exact model and functions of your watch,” Mike muttered back.

“Shut up,” Lucas shot back immediately, already beginning to pedal towards home.

Will chuckled at both of them, feeling just a bit better from their bickering. He wasn’t ready to tell them yet, but he would be, eventually. And when he did, they’d be good. He was lucky like that.

**Author's Note:**

> Please please please leave comments if you liked it. I know you must read that everyone, but it really makes the biggest difference in the world.
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://www.ghost-grantaire.tumblr.com)!


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